Me, Myself and Cosmos

While on the journey in search of meaning, one may be pushed by senses to jump from the colourful base of emotions to the starlike conclusion of the alive cosmos.

I wish I could bring valid arguments and support my position. But my position is based on my emotional understanding, this one that differs from the rational one.

What I want to say is that I sense something, I can feel it, it’s based on my intuition, if I may use that word, that we, humans, are not just individuals, but rather cells of humanity. And what fascinates me even more is that humanity alone is also a cell of cosmos.

It’s been years now that I don’t consider myself as a religious person. I stopped following christianity, even though it has shaped my thought. For years I was identifying myself as an atheist but recently, the last 4-5 years, I understood that religions might have shifted the meaning of god to something different than what it meant in the beginning.

I still refuse to follow any religious dogma, but I needed something to step on and create, based on that, my worldview, my own philosophy of life that is a byproduct of my understanding.

A quote from Eckhart Tolle gave me one insight that I was searching. Tolle said that we are the universe expressing itself as a Human for a little while. And this idea is an idea that can change our perspectives totally. From the point of view of here and now, from the point of view of I and we, to the vastness of existence that faces no time.

That’s what made me find solid ground and based on this to start developing my own ideas, my own worldview.

We born and cry a bit, we eat and drink, walk around learning things, we love and hate, we consume, we produce, we philosophise and then, boom! one day we are expected to die. And that’s the beauty of life, that everyone shares the same procedure. For bad or for good, we happened just like a flower, just like any other animal, even just like the phenomena we are dealing with in our lives. We experience the I that is being created throughout our life, we try to open it as if it was an onion, to find our true selves, but I’m questioning myself, is there something like a true self?

Myself, that’s another indefinite and abstract idea. I feel like I have a lot of selves. The one I experience when I’m talking with my mother. The one that I experience when I’m talking with friends. The one with strangers. The one with my lover. And, that’s for sure, the self is a dynamic and not a static system. A system of insticts, emotions, thoughts, experiences, memories, desires, ideas. We haven’t such a thing as consciousness. We have a stream of consciousness and we swim in this river all of our life. Now, the self, may have a core and probably that core is created until 5 or 6 as psychologists are informing us. But yet, the self can be enhanced, it can change, at least on the layers outside its core. We have to be aware of our situation and try to play an active role on this creation of self, or selves.

We have our bodies, we have our minds. We are a group of Is. And as a collective organisation, our individualistic selves contribute to a bigger self which of course is also better understood as one self instead of selves, the Self of Humanity. We are actually parts of something bigger. We are the cells of Humanity. It’s a pitty thing that we cannot feel it deeply this, but it’s true.

Now, one more jump further. If we are part of the universe, or I should better say, if we are the universe in the form of Humanity for now, that means we, as a collective organisation, are part, or cell, of cosmos. The universe is another name of cosmos, as well as god is. And we are one species that we managed to understand this. Since the universe is vast, I’m really sure that there are more species like us in other solar systems and galaxies that have managed to understand this little story. They are a different cells of cosmos and even if we are different, we are at the same time the same.

I don’t take myself seriously. I cannot bring reasonable arguments to this topic. I just feel like this is closer to the truth and that’s all. I may be wrong but it doesn’t really matters. My understanding based on this ”theory” helps me figure out who am I, which is my relation to other humans, animals and nature, and how I should behave. My ethics is based on seeing the bigger picture of life. And whatever I do, I do it first of all for me, then for the others, and lastly for the cosmos, but I never do something just for me, or for others, or for the cosmos.

I write because I try to put my chaotic mind in some order. I try through this exercise to understand myself, as well as life, more. I hope by sharing this writing to offer a different perspective on things and above all, I consider this food for thought. I don’t want others to believe in me. I wish I could but I can’t, and that’s better because it releases me from the responsibility of my words.

Sometimes, when I’m thinking like this, I feel a bit less myself and more as the mind of cosmos. I feel I’m the cosmos, like, as funny as it might sound to you, I’m everything.

What is the holy spirit that has spoken through the mouths of the saints if not this. What is this that when we pray at it and believe at it we become stronger, both mentally and physically? What is it if not life itself that is the core of everything? And all those, without the need of a superior being that is above us but rather a superior being that lies inside us and it is us.

Universe, God, Nature, Logos.

Me, Myself and Cosmos, they are not so different.

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